Goodbyes are the Hardest

My husband and I have been foster parents for just over a year. On August 4th 2017 we took in our first set of kiddos. If you have reading my blog you will know I refer to them by Cajun,Barbie, Shoes. All three are amazing kids! It was a whirlwind of lots of learning, and firsts for them. But the learning and proud moments made up for the pure chaos.  Being a part of all that learning, creates a bond. A strong bond.  No matter how tough is was on us, those kiddos had a million times worse. Saying goodbye to those two was hard when they moved out. I cried for days, maybe weeks. Sometimes I still do randomly. When I see a Peterbuilt Semi Truck or anything Unicorn, I think of them. I have my memories and I knew when I said goodbye is wasn't forever (at least not yet). Since we still have Shoes with us, we get to see Cajun and Barbie at all his sibling visits for a few mins. I still miss them, but I get to continue to watch them grow and learn from a far at least.

We have had of respite kiddos over the last 6 months too. We have done respite 3 times.  We had a set of siblings once for a week, and then we had another little boy for a weekend (twice). We love providing Respite, we know Foster Parents may need a break or can struggle to find babysitters ( I always need more babysitters). Plus, Shoes loves having friends come visit. Telling him they are coming to visit helps him understand they will leave.

On our third wedding anniversary, we had Court for Shoes, and we got a call about taking a temporary placement (who we call Petunia online). She would only need a place to live for a week, two weeks at most. Then this little girl would get to return to her BioDad, which makes my heart happy to know reunification would happen for her. So we said " Of Course." I thought FINALLY A POSITIVE OUTCOME! We have loved having her with us this past month, but now that BioDad is not being reunited, they are looking for a more permanent placement where some of her siblings can be together at least. We are at a loss of words to say goodbye to her. We thought at least her case would have a positive outcome, but now she is right back at start again. Saying Goodbye to her, I know I may never and mostly likely will never see her again. It's hard not knowing the future or outcome. Not knowing if she will be happy, safe, engaged in the next home. Worst is how Petunia and Shoes will feel saying goodbye to each other. I'm nervous shoes won't understand where she went and ask for her all the time. I'm nervous for Petunia, even though I know she copes pretty well, is mature, loving, smart. I hope for the best. That's all I can do. Hope. Hope for the best.

With each and every kid we fall in love and hope for the best.  Adjusting at first is hard, but goodbyes are harder.

What a whirlwind of a year. Our first year in Fostering was very chaotic, but I wouldn't change it.

We are currently in the middle of switching insurance and moving, so after Friday, we are holding off on taking more kiddos, until we get established in the new house and Andrew's work insurance is figured out. I will let you know how that turns out very soon...