Living off Ensure & Hating Food

Road Block: Hit an Obstacle:

 If you are new to my blog you may want to read about my past GI specialist appointments, colonoscopies, and weird diets they put me on HERE, since that has been my biggest obstacle to getting healthy.

Post Christmas and all through January I was doing really well! Weight up to 107.8 lbs, lung function even around 55% again- up from 36%. Finally working out and eating right! And then BAM! GI problems all over again. 

All of the issues are back. The diarrhea, bloating, but the worst is the intense stomach pains/cramps I get (that they say are my colon spasming).

I've been having these issues really bad off and on for a couple years, but got worse when I had my g-tube taken out. Not sure if that is related or they just kept escalating and it was a coincidence. But either way, it is interfering way too much. 

They tested for Celiacs and Crohns in the past, both negative. So the GI doc said it was my diet. So he told me "don't eat dairy, meat, fatty foods, or high fiber content, no raw veggies or fruit, etc.."  Mom went with me to the appointment, so the drive and day itself were pretty fun, but that diet wasn't....

(picture Mom at last appointment)

I lost weight, so Doc B called him and told him I need the protein & some fat. So then I added meat back in slowly, but kept no dairy and minimum raw veggies/fruit, no grease/fried foods. This has been my diet for the last 2 years.The issues never completely went away, but at least the painful cramps were gone. 

I don't really want another colonoscopy or to do a bunch of diets again. I also don't want to drive all the way to Schaumburg (3.5 hours one way) to see my GI doc. So I may try to talk Doc B into letting me get a local GI specialist. Normally, I'd just deal with it the problems, if they aren't too bad & what I consider minor.

But for the last week I have been eating 1 meal on average a day, and just drinking ensure to make up for the rest. My body digests ensure and I don't get as much stomach pain when I drink it, opposed to eating actual food. Food at this point sounds horrible. I'm always scared to eat. 

But who wants to live off ensure and I know I am losing weight? My calories intake has dropped 1,000 calories most days and some days I don't even feel like getting out of the bed and going to work some mornings, because my stomach hurts so bad. Sometimes after I eat I think I will throw up or the pain gets worse. After I eat even a small meal, I'm extremely full and nauseous. They I get the cramps & bathroom issues throughout the day.

I'm starting to hate food. I can't keep up with this, so now I HAVE to try to fix it again. Andrew and I even went to the movies not too long ago and I didn't want anything (not even popcorn). Food just sounds horrible to me now and we all know I LOVE food!

Tomorrow I will call my CF doc and see what he thinks I should do...Also, in 2 weeks I get to schedule my eye surgery! I just want to fix all these issues, so I can resume my goals in health! I just want to keep at my weight and lung function goal, so we can see our "family" goals come true!

Keep you all posted!