Blog or not to Blog? Always my question.

Blog or not to Blog?

That is usually my question. I can think of multiple topics about CF or things that happened to me that I could write about. Figuring out which one works best is the hard part.

So tonight I decided to bite the bullet and discuss something that has been a big topic on the CF Facebook group and my friend Laura, specifically asked about.


People have been asking about our stomachs. I know this is something I still personally struggle with a lot. I have a bikini that only gets worn at my parent's pool infront of my mom, dad, sister. But it is dumb to be scared ofwhat people will think of my G-Tube. I need that G-Tube to keep my weight up. It keeps me healthy, why am I ashamed of it? My surgical scars are not that bad, thanks to best Surgeon EVER (Dr. Vagunta)!!! <3 Vagunta!

So here it is: a pic of my scars and another pic of me hooked up!

Don't mind the red marks, thats where the bandaids and tape irritate my skin.

Also, my mediport scar is hard to see in the picture, its about an inch long. Its a really nice scar too though, becuase Vagunta fixed it from another surgeon who did a hack job!

My Stomach Tube hooked up for the night! I use gauze to keep it stable and incase it leaks, I flush it with water in the morning too!

I feel weird posting pictures of my stomach, but it is something a lot of people with G-Tubes and Scars deal with. The scars don't bother me, to be honest I see them as a personal triumph I had over my CF. They are Battle Scars too! Each one represent a time of a struggle where a surgeon saved my life! My G-Tube, is harder for me to show people.

However, in Hairspray, my stomach tube kept having issues and leaking during the shows. So, I had different people chipping in to find me gauze, tape, bandaids, etc. And I would go into the make-up room and change the gauze between my scenes.

Nobody was grossed out and one person even said "Hey, you got one of those too!" when they saw it. I was like whoa, you've seen one. And apparently a family member in his family has one. It was like he was excited, which made me feel even less weird.  I love that multiple people in the Cast told me to just wear my bikini if I prefer it.

And who knows, maybe sometime I will wear it infront of my friends, or even at a public pool. For now, I will just post it.

CFers: don't be afraid and don't be ashamed.

I'm not ashamed, I'm proud! and very honored to have had the medical staff I have that worked sooo hard all the time to keep me healthy. Why be ashamed of their beautiful, loving, and life saving work!